Dealing with Loss

The need to honor and cherish the memory of a departed loved one is one of the things that make us human. Throughout history man has found ways to memorialize people both great and small. The Taj Majal or the Pyramids of Egypt are colossal examples of this, but cemeteries and monuments around the world attest to the power of human beings’ connection to those who die before us.

Today in the United States cremation is becoming an increasingly common choice when families lose a loved one. It is more affordable than burial and is environmentally wise, but it is for more than practical reasons that it is chosen.

In our mobile society cremated remains, or cremains, can be kept with us, giving greater comfort than a cemetery plot hundreds of miles away. Cremains also offer families a way to create a personalized memorial to the departed. They can be scattered in a meaningful place, placed in an urn or other container chosen for its beauty or connection to the spirit of the loved one, and can be kept somewhere they will be seen and the memory will be kept alive. Dividing the cremains to create keepsake urns for each member of the family is another choice that can give solace to all.

“Love makes life beautiful. Death makes life precious.”

Though we know the living body and spirit of the one we have lost is gone, we still seek a tangible reminder of that being. In choosing an appropriate memorial, whether it is in preserving or scattering the last vestiges of the body, we can find comfort in the choice and in the act. Please consider the choices that Ashes In Stone offers. Whatever you choose, may you find peace and comfort.

We offer the following poems in the hope that they might help you.

Death is Nothing at All

Death is nothing at all.
I have only slipped away into the next room.
I am I, you are you.
Whatever we were to each other, that we still are.

Call me by my old familiar name,
speak to me in the easy way you always used to.
Put no difference in your tone,
wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together.

Let my name be ever the household word it always was,
let it be spoken without effort,
without the trace of a shadow on it.
Life means all that it ever meant.

Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you, for an interval,
somewhere very near, just round the corner.
All is well.

Henry Scott Holland

My Grief is Like a River

My grief is like a river--
I have to let it flow,
But I myself determine
Just where the banks will go.

Some days the current takes me
In waves of guilt and pain,
But there are always quiet pools
Where I can rest again.

I crash on rocks of anger--
My faith seems faint indeed,
But there are other swimmers
Who know that what I need

Are loving hands to hold me
When the waters are too swift,
And someone kind to listen
When I just seem to drift.

Grief's river is a process
Of relinquishing the past.
By swimming in Hope's channels
I'll reach the shore at last.

Cynthia G Kelley

Welcome Home

When I am gone, release me, let me go.
I have so many things to see and do.
You must not tie yourself to me with tears.
Be happy that we had so many years.
I gave to you my love. You can only guess
How much you gave to me in happiness.

I thank you for the love you each have shown.
But now it's time I traveled on alone.
So grieve a little while that we must.
Then let your grief be comforted by trust.

It's only for a while that we must part.
So bless with memories within your heart.
I won't be far away, for life goes on.
So if you need me, call and I will come.

Though you can't see or touch me, I'll be near.
And if you listen with your heart, you'll hear.
All of my love around you soft and clear.
And then, when you must come this way alone,
I'll greet you with a smile and "WELCOME HOME"

Author Unknown

We Remember Her

In the rising of the sun and in its going down,
we remember her.

In the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter
we remember her.

In the opening of buds and in the rebirth of spring
we remember her.

In the blueness of the sky and in the warmth of summer
we remember her.

In the rustling of leaves and in the beauty of autumn
we remember her.

In the beginning of the year and when it ends
we remember her.

When we are weary and in need of strength
we remember her.

When we are lost and sick at heart
we remember her.

When we have joys we yearn to share
we remember her.

So long as we live, she too shall live,
for she is now a part of us, as we remember her.

The Tide Recedes

The tide recedes,
But leaves behind
Bright seashells on the sand.
The sun goes down,
But gentle warmth
Still lingers on the land.
The music stops,
And yet it echoes on
In sweet refrains...
For every joy that passes,
Something beautiful remains.

M.D. Hughes